Thoughts and Musings

Thoughts and Musings

random reflections on faith, music, family, life.

What church leaders can learn from the Carolina Panthers

1/27/2016

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Yes, I'm an unabashed Panther fan.  Yes, I know eyes are rolling on the other side of computer screens.

I'm cool with that.  These are exciting times in the Carolinas, folks.  We have a team playing in the Super Bowl.  And while the winning certainly facilitates our enthusiasm, it's the intangibles that really have us hooked.  This team has personality.  This team has drive.  This team has fun!

So pardon me a few minutes of fandom, but when I look at the Carolina Panthers in their current incarnation, I see some qualities that all leaders - including those in the church - could learn something from.

LEADERS USE THEIR INNATE SKILLS WHILE LEARNING NEW ONES
Cam Newton came into the league as a bit of a freak of nature - a QB built more like a running back.  This was supposedly the "new NFL quarterback" prototype that would move the position away from a traditional "pocket passer."  Cam fit this new model to a "t."  Problem was, running QBs who don't learn to run judiciously get beat up and see their careers end prematurely (see: RG III, Michael Vick).  

So Cam worked with his QB coach to learn to be a better pocket passer.  It wasn't always pretty - balls soaring well above wide open receivers were a common occurrence the past few Panther seasons.  But this year, things seemed to click. He became a legit pocket passer, while at the same time still able to burn you with a strong run to get a first down - or more.  Which is certainly keeping the Denver defense up at nights over the next two weeks.

I've written before for NEXT Church about the need for pastors to be able to stand with one foot in "tradition" and the other in change.  This is not easy, but very necessary.  If we come in and try to immediately change everything, chances are we're going to get pretty beat up.  But to simply lead the church where it's always comfortably been isn't good, either.  We have to be skilled at doing both, or at the very least intentionally learn how to be.

EVERYONE ON THE TEAM IS A VALUED MEMBER OF THE TEAM
In case you haven't heard, Panthers owner Jerry Richardson is paying for all support staff and interns in the Panthers organization to attend Super Bowl 50 - travel, accommodations, tickets, the whole thing.  For the record, he also did this the last time they made the Super Bowl, in 2004.  

Call it a PR stunt if you want, and Richardson certainly has deep pockets, but it should be noted that this is not something NFL owners typically do.  He chose to do this.  Which, as a friend of mine commented, makes us wish we had applied for that stadium sweeper job.  

In all seriousness, it sends a very powerful and important message - the team is more than just the 50+ players on the field.  It makes me happy to think that Jason (the guy who contacted me about doing the invocation at their first playoff game a few weeks ago) and Allyson (the lovely staffer who served as my family's escort during our on-field time) are heading to Santa Clara with Cam, Luke and the others.

Churches are notorious for making both successes and setbacks about one person or a small group of people - the pastor, the session, etc.  A true culture of leadership recognizes that every person involved needs to be held accountable and get credit when things go well.

GOING THE EXTRA MILE WHEN YOU REALLY DON'T HAVE TO
Panthers star linebacker Luke Kuechly is an amazing player, but seemingly an even better person, as this story lays testimony to.  I showed this video at a church staff meeting last week and paused it in that moment right after Luke accepted the car with thanks.   I asked the staff, what are some possible scenarios of how this might play out going forward?  Responses were as expected: he could simply move on to the next kid, he could toss the car in the trash when he got out of the kid's view, etc. etc.  Then I started the video again.  And we watched Luke, in a brief moment of pause, seem to make a conscious choice to take things a step further with the kid - going off script, as it were, and kind of let things play out themselves.  And that changed the whole scene from simply being a neat gesture on the kid's part to a transformative experience for both.  I love thinking about that kid at the school lunch table the next day: Yeah, I got Luke's gloves, but my signed Pinewood Derby car is on display in his locker right now.

In church we have a lot of practices/policies/procedures that give us direction and tell us what we need to do in most any situation.  And that's certainly ministry.  But a deeper ministry can happen when we go off-script - take the common practice a step further and see where it leads us.  More and more I'm convinced these opportunities are around us all the time - that casual conversation in the hallway, a moment in worship, a session meeting.  Our job is to remain alert so we see them when they materialize and let the Spirit do its thing through us.

WHEN SOMEONE GOES DOWN, SOMEONE ELSE STEPS UP
Football is a tough sport and guys get injured all the time.  Star players, too.  Often this affect's a team's success.  At the beginning of the year before even the first game, star wide receiver Kelvin Benjamin was lost for the season, leaving a cadre of no-names and castoffs to fend for themselves.  Those guys, as it turned out, banded together and proved to be a more than adequate receiving corps.  There was no single breakout star in the bunch, but together they helped take the team to a 17-1 record.

Churches stay, but ministers and staff come and go.  The sign of a strong church is one where a church's well-being and future don't hinge on who comes and goes.  A strong sense of team and vision provides the continuity a church needs.  And if there's a strong sense of team and vision, good people will always be drawn to the mix.  

THIS TEAM HAS FUN, AND IT'S CONTAGIOUS
I feel for Cam.  All he wants is to enjoy the ride, and yet people are raking him over the coals.  How dare he dance in the end zone, do the dab, give footballs to kids!  

Admittedly more than a little biased on this and fully acknowledging that #1 is a bit of a showboat, I still have a hard time understanding the Tennessee Moms and Seattle petition guy.  This quarterback isn't accused of taking performance-enhancing drugs or beating his girlfriend.  And while his wardrobe choices are slightly suspect, and naming your kid "Chosen" certainly takes some chutzpah, I'm convinced that he really is just enjoying the moment, eagerly sharing it with teammates and an entire city.  

In fact, the very act of giving footballs to kids is worth note.  Cam started it himself - run for a TD, give the ball to a kid in the stands.  If a wide receiver or running back scored, they'd give the ball to Cam so he could do his thing.  Then one game, wide receiver Devin Funchess (gotta love the name) caught a TD and handed it to Cam.  But Cam declined it, pointed to him and then the end zone crowd.  The message was clear through my TV set: No, you give it away! It's a blast!  Now, it's rare that Cam does the actual football-sharing himself.  Setting a standard and then letting everyone else in on the fun is shared leadership at its best.

The church deals with a lot of heavy things - life and death, sin and salvation, kingdom-building, heavy social hot-button issues, all on a tight budget.  That's serious stuff.  But sometimes I wonder if we wind up taking ourselves too seriously, and not the God we claim to serve.  Ministry should be fun, and we should find enjoyment in each other and the ministry we are called to carry out, always seeking to share that joy with whomever.  After all, joy is biblical.

And as an example of said joy, I dare you to tell me this doesn't brighten your day:

Go church.  Go Panthers.  Keep Pounding.
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Four things I want youth of the church to know

7/22/2014

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You need to know, folks, that my heart is full right now.  That's usually what happens when I come home from these church youth conferences that weave their way in and out of my life a handful of times each year.  There's something about the synergy of energizers, music, a good message, even better people and the holy presence that often leaves me without words to express it all.  I've done this sort of thing enough - as a participant and as part of leadership - to know it's always tricky negotiating what's not-so-jokingly referred to as "re-entry:" going back to life as we know it and somehow living differently when, for everyone else, the planet has been spinning around its axis all the same.

Thus the dilemma I faced as I prepared to stand before 300+ youth and adults and give the sermon for closing worship at the Massanetta Middle School Conference last week. As the keynote speaker I'd been in the habit of talking to them a fair bit.   But what more was there to say?  So I was grateful when a friend offered up a little gem for me to chew on: think bigger than this one conference, Steve. Tell them what you want them to hear about themselves. Speak your heart.  And that's precisely what I did.

Four thing - four things that I want the youth of our church to know:

1. YOU ARE NOT JUST THE CHURCH'S FUTURE, YOU ARE THE CHURCH'S PRESENT
It always baffles me, and slightly irritates me, when I hear well-meaning people refer to youth strictly in terms of being "the church's future" - as if at some undetermined point a switch will be flipped and they'll instantaneously go from being participants and observers in the life of the church to suddenly leading it.  We need them to know that now is the time to grab hold of the leadership reins. Which means, of course, that we have to start letting go - and there's the rub.  "Youth on the session or on our committees?" someone once remarked to me. "I'd sure hate for them to see some of the things that go on there."  Hmm.  Perhaps the better solution is not shielding our youth from seeing something that shouldn't be there anyway, but bringing them on board to help us change things so that stuff isn't there to begin with.

2. YOUR VOICE MATTERS
It was last summer when I experienced  a 6th grade girl pony-tailed girl who, through a voice all her own, showed me how much her voice mattered and how much the church needed to hear it.  That was confirmed again last week at Massanetta around the lunch table one day, when a casual conversation with some of our youth leadership segued into a heartfelt discussion about the denomination's recent General Assembly actions and how their respective churches were dealing with it. I heard both hope and angst around the table - not only with what was happening in their congregations, but the ways in which they were or were not part of the conversation.  We need our young people at the table to lend their voices so our dialogue will be that much richer.

3. YOU REALLY CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE
Going out on a limb here with a broad declaration, but more and more it seems to me that the church's worst enemy these days is not a culture of secularism but a culture of ambivalence.  Nothing can change. It doesn't really matter anyway.  Our young people are right at that critical point of looking at us and deciding if we're worth their time and investment.  So as the church grants our young people a place at the table, we need to make sure that it's more than simply a seat.  It needs to come with a voice and the empowerment to do things that actually matter.   If they sense all they're getting is a token position, we've lost them already.

4. YOU ARE ALWAYS, ALWAYS LOVED
One of the workshops at Massanetta allowed folks to anonymously name and claim their fears, and one night during our leadership devotion the workshop director shared some of them with us.  My heart broke as I heard so much confusion, angst, pain - and, running through them, the very real fear that they may not be accepted for being themselves.  In a society where our young people are constantly judged and valued for what score they made on a test, how fast they run a mile at practice, how well their college essay is written, and how much what they wear is in style, the church is in a beautifully unique position to tell them over and over again that they are loved not for anything they've done but just because of who they are - and, more importantly, whose they are. 

So those are the four things I shared with the youth in my closing sermon.  What about you - what things would you tell them, if you were given the chance?

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An open letter to my church (and anyone, really) in response to the 221st General Assembly of the PCUSA

6/23/2014

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Members and friends of Trinity Presbyterian Church (and anyone else who's interested):

As promised in worship this past Sunday, I want to share some thoughts on the 221st General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church (USA) in Detroit last week.  Every two years, our denomination’s largest governing body convenes with elders and ministers from all over the country, elected by their presbyteries, to formulate some of the policies and procedures that define us as Presbyterians.  Because we're all part of one big Presbyterian family, I feel it’s important that you know what happens at these gatherings and in what ways they affect us as a congregation and as a larger denominational church.

But first, take a few minutes to read this one page summary, A Brief Summary of the 221st General Assembly, as it'll help make what follows a lot easier to digest.

(Did you read it? Seriously, it's worth it.  You'll thank me later. Did I mention it's just one page?)

There are two things I'd like to draw your attention to, as both received a decent amount of national and international press.  The first is the issue of same-sex marriage.  As you may recall, in 2010 the General Assembly voted to remove language from our constitution that prohibited gays and lesbians from being ordained to ministry.  This year, the body acted positively on two similar motions.  One, known as “Authoritative Interpretation,” grants clergy in our denomination the ability, if they choose, to officiate at a same-sex wedding in states where the practice is legal (this went into affect immediately after the conclusion of the GA). The second, which will need ratification of a simple majority of presbyteries in the coming year, is a rewording of the description of marriage from “a man and a woman” to “two people (traditionally a man and a woman) Both passed with significant majorities.  

So, two things. First, neither of these force a pastor or session to officiate or host a same-sex marriage if they don't want to - all it does is grant the ability to those who do.  Second, you should know that great care was taken leading up to, during and following the vote to reach out to those in opposition, in an attempt to foster unity in the midst of disagreement.  In fact, the parenthesis part of the motion was inserted on the floor of the General Assembly and was received very positively by those displeased with the overall change.  Following the vote, a joint letter from the Presbyterians For Renewal and Fellowship of Presbyterians was issued, expressing disappointment while reaffirming their desire to remain part of the PCUSA (you can read that letter HERE).  It was an extremely gracious gesture and, I hope, will go to great lengths to foster ongoing dialogue and unity, even as we may continue to disagree.  

Another big issue addressed at the GA involved divesting the church’s investments in three American companies, Caterpillar, Hewlett-Packard and Motorola.  The denomination's Mission Responsibility Through Investment Committee (MRTI) had determined that their business practices and products serve to foster the ongoing conflict on the West Bank between Israelis and Palestinians.  If you've been part of the PCUSA for a while, you know our denomination has a strong ethical sense to its various financial holdings, choosing to invest in companies that promote peace and the well-being of all (we do not invest in tobacco or alcohol companies, for instance). The MRTI had reached out to a number of companies to share our concerns and encourage positive change; and while some of these conversations proved fruitful, our dialogue with these three businesses did not.  The measure was close and passed by only seven votes.

Almost immediately after the vote, the press, as well as numerous groups fiercely entrenched on either side of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, cast this action as a slight to Israel and a clear siding with the Palestinians - even though the motion itself affirms Israel’s right to exist as a sovereign nation and PCUSA's support of a two-state solution (you can read the text of the motion HERE). Some of the fallout the PCUSA will face in the months ahead will involve mending bridges with our Jewish brothers and sisters, explaining in full our reasons and rationale and assuring them of what this action was not about, as much as what it was about.  I personally found this blog post to be very helpful in understanding this action and encourage you to check it out, and I'm grateful for this rabbi who seems to get what we Presbyterians are trying to do.

I can almost hear the question on the other side of the computer screen: So, Steve, what do you make of all of this?  Good question.  Three thoughts come to mind.  First, both of these actions feel, to me, to be honest, thoughtful and faithful efforts to uphold and act on the tenets of scripture and our unique Presbyterian witness; as well as what I believe to be our primary calling:  to always err on the side of the love of Jesus, even if that might cause hurt and confusion and make people mad.  As a pastor, I feel compelled to acknowledge this and seek reconciliation with my brothers and sisters in and out of the church who may feel differently from me and fear these actions will lead to future declines in our denomination.  I actually remain very hopeful that the opposite will be true (as echoed in this blog post from a colleague and fellow Presbyterian minister).

Having said that, I know there are those in our church and the PCUSA who grieve one or both of these decisions and may question their future in the denomination. Which leads me to my second thought: my door is always open to sit down and talk.  The promise I make to you is not to try and sway your opinion, but simply to listen and be your pastor and friend.  And, as I did in 2010 in my previous church, I'd ask anyone significantly grieved to give themselves six months: six months to remain active in the church, worshipping, fellowshipping, and serving as you always have. And if, at the end of six months, you truly feel something has categorically changed in the church, then you will leave with my blessing.  If, however, you find that you don't feel any different about our church, then perhaps we can at least agree that amendments to open the door for same-sex marriage and further our commitment to peacemaking were not amendments that destroyed the church.

My third thought is this: regardless of how we feel about these decisions, I find myself staunchly proud to be part of this denomination; if for no other reason than it can never be said that we are a church that sits on the sidelines; bypassing and avoiding the tough, hard conversations and issues that matter in our world today.  We tackle them head-on; we talk and listen, pray and ponder, dialogue and disagree and converse.  And then we act.  And if there’s anything the world today needs, my friends, it is a church that is not afraid to act - always in good faith, always with Christ leading the way. My hope and prayer is that we’ll continue in helpful dialogue, within and outside the PCUSA, to further discern God’s will as we worship, study and serve together.

Again, if you have any questions or concerns, my door is always open!

Your pastor and friend,

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(A quick note about the comment section: I welcome all comments, as long as they're shared in good faith and do not denigrate or use foul or hateful language. I reserve the right to remove comments that fail to contribute to the dialogue in a thoughtful, respectful manner. Thanks.)
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Every Sunday is Easter

4/20/2014

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Every Easter morning, as I drive to church, I have a ritual. I listen to "Easter Song" by Keith Green.  In my former church, one play got me from driveway to parking space. This year, it took a few more times - probably would've been two, had their not been an accident on Providence Road that caused me to go a bit out of my way. Winding through neighborhoods I've never been in before, the sun peeking through the early morning haze leftover from a rainy Saturday onto manicured green lawns and budding azalea bushes.  A new experience, one of many. 

Still, it's Easter nonetheless; and it is glorious.  And I'm reminded: every Sunday is Easter.
(Click HERE if you don't see the video above)
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Musings on NEXT Church 2014

4/2/2014

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I've come to the conclusion that airport terminals - like the one I'm sitting in right now waiting for my flight back to Charlotte - are a lot like NEXT Church conferences. Throw a vast assortment of people in one place, people from all different places and heading toward all different destinations, and see what happens.  Somehow things just seem to work out.  And the reason is because we're all doing the same thing: we're on a journey.

This is my second national NEXT Church conference, and "journey" - though a woefully overused faith word (present company included) - is still an appropriate image.  Because even when you know  where you're going, you quickly find out there are innumerable ways to get there.   Take the first leg of my journey from Charlotte to Minneapolis, where this year's NEXT conference concluded mere hours ago.  There was a direct flight, but it got canceled.  I had to wait a full day and go through LaGuardia to get here.  If that sounds undesirable it still was better than the Charlotte-to-Miami-to-Minneapolis route they proposed.  

Missing the first day of NEXT had me a little off-kilter and discombobulated the rest of the conference - the stuff I got to be part of was great, but I always had this feeling lurking inside me like I had missed the foundation, because I had.  It was a tad frustrating.  But guess what?  The church can be frustrating too, when everything around it is changing so fast; when we feel like we missed something.  Mainline churches today are experiencing dramatic cultural shifts faster than you can say the word "postmodern."  The arrivals and departures are all over the map; and they're affecting attendance, giving, and commitment. Some choose to view it as a sinking ship that you either disembark as soon as possible, or go down with as the loyal sea captain.  NEXT Church, however, chooses to see these as birth pangs of something exciting and transformative.  And when you attend these NEXT workshops and seminars and hear some of the amazingly creative, faithful things that churches are doing, it's hard not to rejoice a little bit.  Because you sense there's something substantive and meaningful there, and you want to dig into it more.

I believe in NEXT because I still believe the church has relevance.  I believe people want the church and need the church to bear witness in the world.  This is not the time for the church to try and be something it used to be, or even something it never was. Nor is this the time for the church to "sell out" to the culture in an attempt to fill up pews and offering plates.  This is a time for the church to do exactly what Jesus did and what he would do still today: in the words of the prophet Jeremiah (our scripture for the conference): Seek the welfare of the city, and pray to the Lord on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare. (Jeremiah 29:7)

I'm ready to get back to my city and, with the wonderful folks at Trinity, do just that.  But first, one final flight and maybe a little sleep too.

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My Pastor Top Eight

1/16/2014

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Like a lot of churches, my new church sends a monthly newsletter to members and friends, including a letter from the pastor.  Having been on the field for barely two months, I chose to share my "Pastor Top Eight" (I was shooing for ten but couldn't come up with two others).  My goal with this is to help facilitate the relationship-building and trust I'm working on in these first few months, giving my new congregation an idea of who I am as a person and the kind of pastor I long to be.  

I rather enjoyed the exercise - so much that I'd encourage you to come up with a Top 8 as well - or 5, or 10, or 20.  What things matter most to you?  What guiding principles define how you live your life?  Share in the comments section below if you like.

Anyway, I now present to you...

MY PASTOR TOP EIGHT

1. Call me Steve.  Some churches instinctively use more formal titles to address their pastors.  Often it is simply out of respect, but it can inadvertently create a sense of distance.  I am happy and content with all members - children, youth and adults - calling me by my first name.  After all, we’re in this together!

2. My door is always open, literally and figuratively.  You may have noticed that I moved my desk into the larger room of the pastor’s study.  This way I am more accessible. If the door is closed - a rare occurrence - it probably means I’m on a phone call or in a private meeting.  Other than that, you are welcome to drop in and say hi.  I always encourage folks to call the church in advance before coming by to see me specifically - that way I can make sure to be available to you (and you can always sign up with Becky for one of the Thursday morning coffees). 

3. My calling to be a good husband and good father is as important to me as my calling to be a good pastor.  Incidentally, this does not mean that serving you is any less of a priority - in fact, I’ve found that, by always striving to honor my family relationship and responsibilities, I’m a much better pastor to and with you.

4.  I will make mistakes.  As I do, I hope you will let me know so I can keep from making it again. No one likes to admit they make mistakes. But I can promise you that at some point, I will.  I’m also pretty sure that, at some time, I will do something that may upset you.  By coming to me and letting me know personally, you give me a tremendous gift: an opportunity to grow as a pastor and to build a stronger relationship with you.

5. We’re a team!  If you haven’t noticed already, my leadership style with staff and the session centers around a team approach that is founded in mutual trust and respect, and keeping open lines of communication.  My experience is that a church functions at a much higher level, and lives into its vision more efficiently, when this is the case.

6.  The church is not here to meet people's needs, the church is here to meet God's needs.  I once read about a minister who would share this at the beginning of their church’s new member class.  It caught people off-guard at first, but eventually they came to see the truth in it.  I believe churches that understand the heart of this put themselves in a much better position to grow and thrive.  The great thing? When we focus on meeting God’s needs first - in the church, community and world - we find our own needs are met as well!

7. I believe we in the church are called to respond to God's amazing grace and love in three ways:
  • Giving our TIME (being present in the body of Christ)
  • Giving our TALENT (putting our individual, unique gifts in practice for the church’s ministry)
  • Giving our TREASURE (our financial response)
My goal, through my preaching, pastoring, and leading, is to live this out in my own life while equipping you to do the same. 

8.  Love will guide the way.  The guiding force in everything I do as your pastor - preaching, teaching, pastoral care, staff empowerment, church visioning - will always be centered in the love of Jesus and sharing and fostering that love.  If I err, I will always do my best to err on the side of love.

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Thoughts and musings on a last Sunday

11/4/2013

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For once, I'm at a loss for words.

Well, not totally.  I am a preacher after all.  And to be fair to myself, it's probably still a little early to try and process all that could and should be said.  When you love people the way I've loved the church I've served for the past ten-plus years and they love you right back, it takes a while to verbalize what all that means.  So I'll cut myself some slack.

In the meantime, I'll say what I can say through pictures, sounds, video.  First, the picture.  It's the stole the church presented me with in worship yesterday - made by a good friend, nonetheless.  Music, Lighthouse, Creation Care, The Cross, Handprints, The Rock (Mount Airy granite, of course).  And a green stole, which means I can wear it the most Sundays of the year and be liturgically correct (it's a Presbyterian thing). The best part was that they gave it to me first thing yesterday morning, so I got to wear it throughout worship.  The even better best part was that, as part of my sermon (which you can read and listen to HERE), I gave everyone their own stole.  We didn't even plan that.  Awesome.

Next, sound: So I wanted to write the youth group a song, because they're an amazing group of young people who totally have my heart.  But - I would not write a sappy song.  Which was meant with tremendous sighs of relief when I told them this at their youth group meeting a week ago. Everyone was a bit emotional, you see.  We needed levity. So it was a good thing that I went for the slightly off-kilter theme song that, while certainly isn't my best lyrical work, is still one of my favorites, primarily because of who it's written for.  You can listen to the song (and even download the mp3 if you want to):

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(by the way, I promise I don't always look like that when I'm singing. At least I don't think I do).

And finally, video.  So the church had a wonderful reception for us after worship yesterday.  Lots of hugs, kind words, more than a few tears, good food and delicious cake.  And the debut of the Beacon theme song, of course. They also made a point of including my wife and sons in the goodbyes, which I was most grateful for, because it's not just me that's leaving.  The church gave us a wonderful Lindsleys mailbox full of sweet cards and notes we'll treasure for a long time.  The youth gave our boys large laminated lighthouses (hence their name the Beacons) with signatures and sweet notes to put on the walls of their new bedroom in Charlotte.  And for my lovely wife, they sang a song that really says it all:

I trust you now know why these kids have my heart.

By the way, see that cool handprint guitar?  We made that at youth group last week, mimicking the handprints of all the youth over the years that adorn the inside of the Lighthouse walls.  We made two guitars, actually - one to stay in that Lighthouse and one to travel with us to Charlotte.  I'm pretty sure I killed a few brain cells spraying eight coats of Polycrylic on these things all last week, but it was totally worth it.

Like the song says, "Just know you're not alone / I'm gonna make this place your home."  PhilipDave PhillipsMatthews pretty much nailed it: home is more about people than a place.  In a little less than a month we'll be making a new home in the Queen City, but a part of us will always remain in Mayberry (hopefully not our actual house, which happens to be for sale if you're interested).  In a world where so much is fleeting and fake, this has been real, my friends.  And real stuff never really goes away.  And that is a very very good thing.
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Standing In The Surf: A New Kind of Confession Booth

9/28/2013

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To many people unaffiliated with a church, and even to some who are, "church" means being among other people who are just like you: look like you, talk like you, think like you, work and play like you, and believe like you.  It is part of foundational human behavior built into our DNA - we are inclined to form ourselves into groups ("tribes," as author Seth Rogen likes to call them).  And we are inclined to do so based on some common shared characteristic.  The problem for the church comes when we let this, and not the gospel, be what defines us.

I'm convinced, along with lots of other folks, that if the American church of the 21st century is going to flourish and live into its calling in the future, it must first clear this hurdle.  And it's got to be more than simply opening our doors and saying a hearty, "Y'all come!"  Instead, we're going to need to seek out those who are not like us and engage them on their own turf.  It also means not allowing doctrine and dogma to supercede the relational nature of the body of Christ - as Paul said, and certainly got raked over the coals, we are all one in Christ Jesus. No single truth is as simple and as scandalous.

ConfessionboothI don't know if it's reassuring or depressing that the same problems we face today in the church were faced by that Galatian church a mere 25 years after the end of Jesus' earthly life.  I guess it depends on how you look at it.  The thing is, if we're going to clear this hurdle, we have to intentionally put ourselves in those uncomfortable positions where we, ironically, are not the authority - for that is how we demonstrate to those on the outside of the church that it is not about us, it was never about us, but it was and is always about God.  And we have to be creative in how we do it - not for creativity's sake, but to demonstrate in bold and convincing fashion that we are truly willing to move on from what has not worked and plunge head-first into the unknown and into what may actually work this time.

And that is why I will forever love the story told by author Don Miller in his book Blue Like Jazz, of the Confession Booth.  If you aren't familiar with this story, I dare you to read it below and tell me on the other side that you're not changed. If you've heard it before, don't pass up an opportunity to read it again.

*****************

Each year at Reed College they have a festival called Ren Fayre.  They shut down the campus so students can party.  Security keeps the authorities away, and everybody gets pretty drunk and high.  Some of the Christian students in our little group decided this was a pretty good place to let everybody know there were a few Christians on campus.  I said we should build a confession booth in the middle of campus and paint a sign on it that said, CONFESS YOUR SINS.  I said this because I knew a lot of people would be sinning, and Christian spiritually begins by confessing our sins and repenting.  I also said it as a joke.
            But Tony thought it was brilliant.  He sat there on my couch with his mind in the clouds, and he was scaring me because I actually believed he wanted to do it.
            “We are not going to do this,” I told him.
            “Oh, we are, Don.  We are going to build a confession booth!”
            Nadine smiled.  “They may very well burn it down,” she said.
            “Okay you guys.”  Tony gathered everybody's attention.  “Here's the catch. We are not actually going to accept confessions.”  We all looked at him in confusion.  He continued.  “We are going to confess to them.  We are going to confess that, as followers of Jesus, we have not been very loving; we have been bitter, and for that we are sorry.  We will apologize for the Crusades, we will apologize for those televangelists who steal people's money, we will apologize for neglecting the poor and the lonely, we will ask them to forgive us, and we will tell them that in our selfishness we have misrepresented Jesus on this campus.  We will tell people who come into the booth that Jesus loves them.”
            All of us sat there in silence because it was obvious that something beautiful and true had hit the table.  We all thought it was a great idea.  It would feel so good to apologize, to apologize for the Crusades, for Columbus and the genocide he committed in the Bahamas in the name of God. I wanted so desperately to apologize for the many ways I had misrepresented the Lord. 
            So we set to work on the confession booth throughout the beginning of Ren Fayre.  And the further along we got on the booth, though, the more I began to wonder if our idea was such a hot one.  As we began to put the finishing touches on it, someone opened up the curtain and walked in, saying they were our first customer.
            “What's up, man?”  Duder sat himself on the chair with a smile on his face.  He said his name was Jake.  “So, what is this?  I'm supposed to tell you all of the juicy gossip I've done at Ren Fayre, right?”
            “No.”
            “Okay, then what?  What's the game?”  he asked.
            “Not really a game.  More of a confession thing.”
            “You want me to confess my sins, right?”
            “No, that's not what we're doing, really.”
            “What's the deal, man?”
            “Well, we are a group of Christians here on campus, you know.”
            “I see.  Strange place for Christians, but I am listening.”
            “Thanks,” I told him.  He was being very patient and gracious.  “Anyway, there is this group of us, just a few of us who were thinking about the way Christians have sort of wronged people over time.  You know, the Crusades, all that stuff....”
            “Well, I doubt you personally were involved in any of that.”
            “No, I wasn't,” I told him.  “But the thing is, we are followers of Jesus.  And we believe he represented certain ideas that we have not done a good job at representing.  He has asked us to represent Him well, and we've failed him in that.”
            “I see,” Jake said.
            “So there is this group of us on campus who wanted to confess to you.”
            “You are confessing to me!”  Jake said with a laugh.
            “Yeah.  We are confessing to you.  I mean, I am confessing to you.”
            “You're serious.”  His laugh turned to something of a straight face.
            I told him I was.  He looked at me and told me I didn't have to.  I told him I did, and I felt very strongly in that moment that I was supposed to tell Jake that I was sorry for everything.
            “What are you confessing?”  he asked.
            “Well, there's a lot.  I will keep it short.  Jesus said to feed the poor and to heal the sick.  I have never done very much about that.  Jesus said to love those who persecute me.  I tend to lash out, especially if I feel threatened.  Jesus did not mix His spirituality with politics.  I grew up doing that.  I know all of this was wrong, and I know that a lot of people will not listen to the words of Christ because people like me, who know Him, carry our own agendas into the conversation rather than just relaying the message Christ wanted to get across.  So I've not been a good follower of Jesus.  There's a lot more, you know.”
            “It's all right, man,” Jake said, very tenderly.  His eyes were starting to water.
            “Well,” I said, clearing my throat, “I am sorry for all of that.”
            “I forgive you,” Jake said.  And he meant it.
            “Thanks,” I told him.
            He sat there and looked at the floor, then into the fire of a candle.  “It's really cool what you guys are doing,” he said.  “A lot of people need to hear this.”
            “I don't know whether to thank you for that or not,” I laughed.  “I have to sit here and confess all my crap.”
            He looked at me very seriously.  “It's worth it,” he said.  He shook my hand, and when he left the booth there was somebody else ready to get in.  It went like that for a couple of hours.  I talked to about thirty people, and Tony took confessions on a picnic table outside the booth.  Many people wanted to hug me when we were done.
            All of the people who visited the booth were grateful and gracious.  I was being changed through the process.  And I think those who came into the booth were being changed, too.

*****************

I'm not saying this single thing is the answer to all the church's woes (although part of me loves the idea of trying this out sometime).  I'm simply suggesting that the thinking that led to this is what the church needs today - in order to remain faithful, relevant, true to its mission to transform lives and even the world.

So - what do you think?  What new ideas does the church today need to put into action?

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Made to Meet your Maker

9/1/2013

1 Comment

 

I am standing beside a tiny creek that runs parallel to Hwy. 103, about a mile outside of Mount Airy.  I'm in that area where the ground becomes less firm, and I can feel my black Sunday dress shoes giving in to the soft earth.  I am there with a dozen or so folks, including the family who invited me to be here with them after their loved one died in late spring; invited me to join them behind the small structure on the side of the road that used to house the family store. We've come to this place to spread the ashes of their beloved wife and mother in the creek behind the old store; a space that has deep meaning for them.  Sacred spaces can be hallowed sanctuaries of brick and mortar and stained glass, but they can also be a small creek off a remote highway.  And that is where we are now.

I am standing there with the full realization that I've never done anything like this before.  Funerals and memorial services, graveside committals, even the burying of ashes - I've done plenty of those in my nearly 17 years of ministry.  But spreading ashes in a creek?  This is something new.

They are looking at me to tell me they're ready to begin.  I've planned out a few things to say - but I've also left a lot of space, because I've done this sort of thing long enough to know when I need to script it out and when I need to step aside and get out of the way.  And so I begin by acknowledging the beautiful day, by reading a few scriptures about rivers and water, and by telling them how rivers are a metaphor for life: they flow constantly, and they only flow one way.  There's no reversing the course of the river, and there's no way to stop the water from running the way it goes.  Life, it turns out, acts much the same way.  And so as we commit these ashes to the waters, knowing they will be taken somewhere, I tell them that we commit our loved one to the journey that we are not yet able to go on ourselves.  But one day it'll be our time to take a trip down the river, where we will meet our God and the loved one who went on before us.

I've said all I need to say.  I motion to the widower and his middle-aged daughters, and together the three remove their shoes and step out into the creek, where the water's flow is strongest.  Those standing on the bank are tossing small flowers in, and it is a beautiful scene.

And that is when Mumford & Sons' "Awake My Soul" starts playing.

I'd almost forgotten that they told me they were going to do this - a song they said she loved.  With us unaware, the son-in-law had pulled the car up behind the small gathering and opened its windows, and now the space is filled with that familiar, flowing octave-D intro.  Small flowers continue to fill the air and water as the words come....

        How fickle my heart and how woozy my eyes
        I struggle to find any truth in your lies
        And now I am certain of things I don't know
        My weakness I feel I must finally show.

It is never easy to let go of our loved ones when it is their time.  We are created to live; and while dying is a part of life, it's that part further down the river that we can't see.  So we are afraid of it, for ourselves and for others.  And yet, in order to let go, we have to go into our weakness - just as these three were doing, stepping into the chilly water and onto the rocky uneven creek bed, holding each other's hands for both physical and emotional stability.... 

        Lend me your hand and I'll conquer them all
        But lend me your heart and I'll just let you fall
        Lend me your eyes, I can change what you see
        But your soul you must keep totally free

They open the plastic bag and tip the end down so the ashes begin their descent into the flowing waters. The journey has begun.  And as the water turns a smoky white, the descant fills the air around us like a musical benediction:

        Awake, my soul
        Awake, my soul

Yes, we are on holy ground, the likes of which I've never been on before.  

        In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die
        Where you invest your love, you invest your life.

Memories of this person flow through my mind as her ashes now flow through the waters.  Her love for music and the people who shared that love.  Her passion for basketball - which reminds me of the last conversation I had with her at the Hospice home days before her death, when she snapped out of her cancer-driven fog long enough to describe in great detail the ball she was passing to me on some distant court.   Her amazing ability to get along with everyone and smile perpetually, even as her body failed her.  This woman had invested her love in so many places with so many people, and because of that her life would live on long after her remains made their way through the water into the woods.

The bag is now empty, and all the ashes have been sent on their way.  And so the three step out of the water and back on to the marshy land.  Tears fill their eyes, as they are filling the eyes of the rest of us.  A flowing water of a different kind.  The song is now picking up its tempo; the soft-flowing melody making way for the pulsing celebration as the creek begins to return to its normal color...

        Awake my soul
        Awake my soul
        Awake my soul
        You were made to meet your maker


Ashes-creek


1 Comment

    Steve Lindsley

    Child of God. Husband. Father. Minister. Musician. Songwriter. Blogger.
    Keynoter and Songleader. Runner/Swimmer. 
    Almost vegetarian. 
    Lifelong Presbyterian.
    Queen City resident.
    Coffee afficionado.
    Dog person. 
    Panthers/Hornets fan. 
    Mostly in that order. 
    For more info check out stevelindsley.com

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